9 months in, 9 months out

Holy cow - my baby is 9 months old! NINE MONTHS. That's as long as she was in my belly. And today we celebrate her 9th month anniversary. 39 weeks. 273 days. 18 months of living and growing. This is absolutely crazy to me. Still. This little being belongs to us. Forever.

In this article, I would like to share with you my honest summary of the last 18 months. Because so many incredible changes have happened, both physically and mentally, that always leave me in awe when I think about it.

#9monthsin9monthsout

On social media, you can find countless 'before and after' pictures under the hashtag #9monthsin9monthsout. The left picture shows a big, round baby bump. The right one shows the 'after-baby body'. Usually accompanied by a judgmental statement. Something like 'finally back to my old shape!' or 'I still have a few kilos to lose'. The previous self-criticism is diplomatically rounded off with a positive 'what my body has achieved!'

You might even find yourself critically comparing and judging your own body. Wow! Do I look as fit as them? Can strangers who don't know me see that I recently had a baby? Did I lose the baby weight fast enough? Will my breasts ever look the same again? Probably not.
Too many thoughts are wasted online, in front of the mirror or in the shower examining and evaluating one's own body. An unhealthy waste of time. Instead of celebrating oneself and one's female body without exception for the wonders it has accomplished!

body awareness and appreciation

For 18 months my body has been feeding a second human being. 15 of them exclusively. WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT! It's actually completely crazy and truly a miracle how nature arranged it all.
So I've been working in 24/7 mode for months. Still breastfeeding and suffering from chronic sleep deprivation, my body is lugging around a now rather heavy little one and is achieving peak performance every day.

A reason for awe, respect and incredible gratitude towards one's own body. And I have that too!
And yet I have to be honest and say: No. No, I still don't feel 'like I did before'. No, I'm not 100% back in my body and YES, I sometimes feel uncomfortable too, just not quite 'me' yet.

But you're not supposed to say it out loud if you don't want to get an eye roll. But I want to say it out loud to show that it's normal. It's normal that sometimes you need something to cope with the incredible changes your body is going through. I'm really amazed at how quickly my body has recovered from pregnancy!
Just a few hours after the birth, the belly was already very retracted and a few days later it was barely visible to a stranger. The female body is a miracle!
But it's pretty intense.

reality check and self-love

Now, nine months after the pregnancy, my belly is practically gone. The only thing I can tell that there used to be a bump here is the slightly loose skin.
And yet everything is different.

My breasts are noticeably bigger. Two sizes bigger. I have some cellulite on my thighs that wasn't there before. There is still some 'milk reserve' on my hips and my face is decorated with a few pigment spots.
And yet, overall, I feel very good. And above all, I'm proud!
Proud of what my body can do and what it has given us. Our daughter.

Personally, I also think that comparing yourself to your pre-pregnancy self is complete nonsense. Because it was BEFORE PREGNANCY. A human being was growing inside you. It is not only normal, but to be expected that we change as a result.
We also change throughout our lives! Sometimes more noticeably, sometimes less so.
For me the question is: Should we give this so much importance? Aren't there so many more important things?

Mind vs. Body

I believe that a lot of the occasional discomfort or 'not having found your place' has nothing to do with appearance. At least for me personally, there are more important things than looking perfect. Which is not to say that you or anyone else can sort their values ​​differently!

However, I think that feeling good about yourself and your own body has a lot to do with mental arrival. With the time I have for myself or not, in which I can just take care of myself. With yoga, which is often neglected these days, and the resulting tension or stiffness.
Apart from the fact that it is no secret that our body functions suboptimally under stress, we should therefore take better care of ourselves again.
Today we call it 'self-care'.

Setting priorities and defining your own values

One thing that I think everyone needs to find out is their own values. These often change over the course of parenthood. I think that a lot of the frustration and stress in everyday life often comes from not having clearly defined your (new) values. If it is really important to me to have a flexible, healthy body, then I can postpone housework and take care of myself without feeling guilty. Or maybe it is not MY need to look like a fitness model just a few months after pregnancy. Maybe I picked up these values ​​from social media or something similar.
With this clear realization, I can make my child my priority without being stressed that I didn't manage to do 10 squats today. Combining several of these things naturally requires creativity and organization. I think here too we can be patient and forgiving with ourselves and give ourselves time to find our way into this new role.

Mental Change – from Mouse to Lioness

However, what fascinates me almost more than the physical changes during and after pregnancy is the mental transformation.
My boyfriend sometimes lovingly calls me 'little mouse'. I have to admit, since about the end of the first trimester there was very little of that 'little mouse' left.

There is this term 'lion mom' and I have to say, I now understand the meaning behind it. It is simply unbelievable how clear some views and attitudes become and how almost untouchable they are. The protective instinct is in overdrive and banal things that previously provided potential for discussion are now not worth mentioning or are clearly set in stone.
In a way, you feel totally vulnerable. And at the same time, my resilience, both mentally and physically, has increased many times over.

In the next article I would like to tell you exactly how I live the lioness within me, how I strengthen her and at the same time keep her in check.

I would like to say one thing in conclusion about my 9-month summary:
There have hardly been moments in my life in which I have been able to discover more about myself than in the last 18 months. In which I have been able to learn faster and harder and in which I have found myself as much as I have now.
I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all my friends, family and you, my community, for going through these changes with me and accompanying me!
It really is a wonderful and exciting journey through motherhood, and it is even more beautiful when you can share it.