Tell us: Frauke from ekulele

"Tell us how you do it..." We were once again very curious and got an insight into the family life of mom blogger Frauke. In addition to her full-time job as a mom of three children, the lively German has been active in the blogging business for 8 years. In the interview, Frauke tells us what a normal day is like for the family of five, why she is very open about the topic of "fertility clinics" and much more.

Enjoy reading!

Dear Frauke, you have been a mother of three children for a few months now – how did you prepare your boys for the birth of their sister?

When I was around 10 weeks pregnant, we told the boys that they were going to have a sibling. Since then, the baby, or rather my belly, has been a topic of conversation every now and then, but we haven't talked about the pregnancy every day. Now and then we've read suitable books together, stroked my bump, or looked for baby clothes in the basement together. Basically, as my belly grew bigger, they gradually realized that there really was someone on the way.

On your blog ekulele.de you write that you and your husband live the “old-fashioned model”. You stay at home with the children and your husband goes to work. How did that come about or was that always the path you chose?

For a long time I had wanted to become a mother "early" and spend a lot of time with my children. I really enjoy remembering my own childhood. My mother was also at home with us children for a long time, we really enjoyed that and of course benefited from it.
Nonetheless, in addition to my "mom role," I also work a lot from home. In addition to my blog ekulele.de and using the social channels Instagram and Pinterest, I also create content for other companies. For me, the flexibility in terms of my working hours is simply unbeatable. This would not be possible in my trained profession (I studied social work). So we don't really live the "old-fashioned model" at all... I simply work when it fits in. But the children come first.
I think every family has to decide for themselves what works best and makes everyone happy. In my opinion, there is no such thing as "the" perfect model, as everyone has different needs and, of course, financial aspects cannot be ignored.

What does a normal day look like for you?

We usually get up between 6:00 and 7:00. My husband leaves the house at around 7:00/7:30 and I usually take the children to kindergarten at around 8:30. When I get home, I take care of the housework and usually even manage to do a little work on my laptop while the little one is sleeping. After a long walk, I pick the boys up from kindergarten at around 2:00/2:30 p.m. Then we play, do crafts and run around. At around 6:00 p.m. we have dinner and then our "going to bed" ritual begins. When all the children are asleep, I sit down at the laptop again, do some exercise or use the quiet time to chat with my husband.

Which moments in everyday life belong to you alone? What do you do when you have time for yourself?

At the moment I love going for a long walk in the fresh air with the little one. She is usually sleeping and I listen to a podcast and treat myself to a coffee to go. But I can also switch off wonderfully when I do sports. Jogging in particular is a wonderful counterbalance to the often turbulent everyday life with three children - but I am currently avoiding it to protect my pelvic floor. And even though it may sound crazy, in my free time I also like to clean the house from top to bottom. With loud music and without "mommy" interruptions. I love doing something in the flow - and of course enjoying the clean and tidy house for a few minutes afterwards 😀

With two children at home and a global pandemic, were you able to experience your third pregnancy consciously? What rituals and time outs were important to you?

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to enjoy my pregnancy as consciously as I would have liked. But I still like to think back to it. Sometimes, however, I only really realized that I was pregnant when I fell asleep at the table from exhaustion while doing crafts with the boys. But especially in the evenings, I consciously took time for myself and the baby in my belly.

Did you prepare specifically for the birth?

No, not really. I just let it happen without thinking too much about it.

You decided on an outpatient birth for your baby girl. You also had to stay in hospital with your older boys. Which was better for you? Are there any advantages and disadvantages?

I don't think I would have been ready for it with my first child. I felt safer and more comfortable in the hospital for the first few days after the birth. With my second child, I could very well imagine an outpatient birth because I wanted to return to my familiar surroundings and to my family. However, due to a small complication, I had to stay in the hospital for two days. Now, with my third birth, it worked out, and I am very grateful for that. Because, especially in the current situation, a stay in the hospital would not have been suitable for me. I wanted to return to my three men as quickly as possible.

If you feel safe, the birth goes without complications and, ideally, you even have a midwife to look after you, then in my opinion there is nothing wrong with an outpatient birth. It is simply wonderful when you can enjoy the first few days in your own home.

You write very openly and honestly about the fact that you had "support" from a fertility clinic with all three children. Why is it important to you that your readers know about this?

It is very important to me that the taboo surrounding this topic is removed. In my circle of friends and acquaintances alone, there are a handful of couples who unfortunately cannot get pregnant so easily. I did not know about some of them for a long time because the couples did not dare to communicate the whole thing openly. Not because they did not want to, but because they felt "weird". And that is exactly what should not be the case.

What advice do you have for couples who are in a similar situation and for whom things just aren't working out?

To get help. The first time we went to the fertility clinic was very strange and I was especially scared. What if I am diagnosed with never being able to have my own children?

Fortunately, things turned out completely differently. The doctor encouraged us, explained various options and at the end of the appointment we left the practice full of confidence.

Finally, what is your ultimate life hack with three children?

Breathe deeply and count to 10 in my head – and to be honest, I don’t always manage that either!

Dear Frauke, thank you very much for the interview!

Do you want to read and see more from Frauke and her family? Then take a look at her blog ekulele.de .