I spent 9-10 long months preparing for our sweet little mouse bear. From birthing information, books about the infamous '4th trimester', baby books and those about how to strengthen our relationship, to binge-watching YouTube moms sharing their tips. I even completed a new course on the subject and yet nothing could have prepared me for the life-changing, emotionally wrenching, heartbreakingly beautiful and incredible honor that is becoming a mother.

My name is Jasmin. I am a self-employed yoga therapist, holistic health coach and recently also a mom! My boyfriend Martin and I have been the proud parents of a wonderful little one for 12 weeks and in the coming months I can take you with me into the wild, colorful everyday life of a first-time mom. Completely honest and without embellishment. But first, let's talk about the first 12 weeks. There were a few things that I wish people would talk about more openly. So I put together a list in the hope that a few parents-to-be will come across it in the internet jungle looking for tips and like-minded people like me.

1.Trust your instincts.

You are the BEST mom and dad for your sweet baby. As soon as you have a baby (actually from the day you announce your pregnancy), you are bombarded with (mostly) well-intentioned advice. It can be quite overwhelming. Each piece of advice contradicts the next and you end up more confused than before. It's nice to hear other stories and get inspiration as needed, but every baby is different and needs something different. Trust your gut. What you feel is right for your baby. I promise you that.

2. Not only do you feel what your baby needs, but your baby also feels what you need.

The exchange of energy between parents and child is simply magical. Just as you will sense what your baby needs, your baby will also sense the emotions and moods in the room. Every time I am stressed or we are pressed for time to get to an appointment (excursus: from now on you have to leave an hour earlier than usual!), my little girl wants to breastfeed for an extra long time. As if she really wanted to slow me down. And she does! I also think that you become much more conscious of how you deal with each other as a couple and maybe save yourself one or two unnecessary arguments. Thank you, Mäusebär, for this valuable learning task!

3. Your partner is in the same boat!

Sore breasts, lochia, constant breastfeeding - with all the challenges that a new mother has to deal with, it's easy to forget that your partner also has his share. Apart from the fact that my boyfriend was practically in the front row during the birth and supported me as best he could, since we got home after the third day in the hospital he has mutated into a cook, cleaner, personal assistant, upholsterer and counselor! It's not just mothers who are really unpacking their hidden superpowers here. I would also say that seeing your own wife and mother of your child in a state of absolute emergency is something you have to put up with sometimes, it takes a lot! At this point an ode to you, dear Martin. Thank you. I love you.

4. There is no 'one size fits all'

in parenthood. And comparisons only make it worse. It is a challenge not to compare yourself or your child with others. And let's be honest - sometimes it does happen. Such thoughts sneak in without you really noticing it, which makes it all the more difficult to push them away. But you have to! Parenting is not a competition. Be kind to yourself and understand that every parent, every child, simply EVERYONE, has different needs and brings with them different challenges. It is best to say it out loud once a day 😉

5. It's not as bad as everyone says.

Even when I was pregnant, I was bombarded with the most terrible predictions. From elephant feet due to water retention to clumsiness and impatience - I'm still waiting for it! 'It's best if you sleep first! You never sleep again with a child!' That's what they said. Leaving aside the fact that, from a biological point of view, this is complete nonsense, I can assure you that as a mother (and father!) you develop absolute superpowers! The hormonal support that nature has given us women is absolutely incredible. And while we're on the subject of hormones - not everyone has bad skin, hair loss, pounds that they never lose and other postpartum side effects. And back to energy: we don't put it down or give it a pacifier. Our baby is a very alert spirit! Not all nights are fun and the days are sometimes exhausting, but I can assure you it's so much more doable than some horror stories say!

6. But it is not as easy as it often seems

Especially on social media! The perfectly dressed little ones, sucking on their pacifiers while they take their afternoon nap in the bassinet. The stroller that matches their mom's outfit as she goes for a walk licking an ice cream. I've seen this on Instagram or from random strangers on the street. Not with us yet! Haha. Our lively, happy little mouse loves being carried. All the time. When people ask me if I miss doing so much sport and especially yoga, I can only laugh! I don't know when my back was ever so fit - thank you, dear carrier! I'm looking forward to when we can use our beautiful Naturkind stroller more often when she's a bit older.

7. The postpartum period is the actual birth.

I thought I was prepared...

At the beginning of my pregnancy, I trained as a postnatal and mother-baby yoga teacher. The time after birth, i.e. the postpartum period and its challenges, were a huge part of the curriculum. So I knew exactly what an absolutely 'exceptional situation' you would be facing, and yet I devoted more time to preparing for the birth than to the time afterward. Big mistake. In my opinion, much more attention should be paid to the postpartum period! It is clear that birth is an incredible, but also ONE-DAY, experience and you obviously prepare for it in certain ways (some more, some less). However, the physical and mental challenges that await you FOR WEEKS AFTERWARDS are rarely discussed. I think that better support and, above all, awareness could be created here. Perhaps I will hold a workshop on this.

8. Breastfeeding – a true art. And a science!

If there is one thing, just one thing, that EVERY expectant mother should prepare for, it is breastfeeding. I am shocked at how little it is talked about. Even my close friends who had children before me, and who I thought I knew how they were doing, only revealed the proverbially gory details when I approached them about our issues. I am lucky enough to be able to breastfeed and am grateful to have such great people around me who have supported me through the classic initial problems. I could actually write an entire blog post just about breastfeeding, but to capture the most important things here, I would like to recommend to every mother (and her family - it really is teamwork!) to contact a breastfeeding consultant perhaps BEFORE the birth and to set an appointment in advance for the postpartum period. Experience has shown that there are ALWAYS questions and often initial difficulties. Having a certified consultant by your side is worth its weight in gold and saves a lot of stress and tears. After all, you can always politely decline.

9. “Mom friends” are the best friends.

While we're on the subject of networking, I'd like to thank my friends. Because together, we can turn tears into laughter. I don't know how often I've written messages to my dear friends, who are also (becoming) mothers, at the most inhumane times, how often tears of anger or being overwhelmed have turned into tears of laughter, and how often we tell each other about things that no one else would understand! Our phone calls are like a cabaret, and the odd voice message has saved me from having to go to the pediatrician in a hysterical state (of course, this is not a recommendation as a substitute for a doctor!). Friends who are also parents are worth their weight in gold!

10. Nutrition is key.

Maybe you've heard the saying "One tooth per child"? Tooth decay is a classic sign of hyperacidity and nutrient deficiency. Until now, I was proud to say that I had never had tooth decay in my life. Now I'm almost ashamed to say that at the age of 31, I also had to go to the dentist for the first time because of it. Yes, it happened to me too. Anyone who knows me knows that a healthy lifestyle and, above all, a healthy diet are not just my job, but my philosophy of life and passion. And yet, in the stressful first few weeks, I also let my diet slip. In traditional Chinese medicine, they say that in the "fourth trimester" all diseases can be cured or even develop. My body was still very kind to me with just a slight tooth decay. From now on, it's back to the old routine: cook in advance, stock up and have simple "one-hand meals" and healthy snacks ready. Thank you, dear body, for the reminder!

11. Being a parent (just like life) is a practice in change!

If you were a stickler for habits, that's out the window now. Once you think you've found a solid routine and you know your baby like the back of your hand, you can expect tomorrow to be different. Suddenly they're finally sleeping when you should be leaving, first they love car rides and then suddenly they're yelling at the baby seat if you just put them in the living room. They grow SO FAST in the first year, try to enjoy it and soak it all in. And if you don't like your new routine, don't fret, because you can expect it to be different tomorrow anyway.

12. And sometimes you just have to cry.

And that’s ok too!

A few other little weird things:

• You hear a lot about what the body does before and during pregnancy. But afterwards: WOW.
• Pack a spare outfit whenever you leave the house. Not just for your baby, but for yourself too. This may seem excessive and you may be fine with just a spare shirt, but you will think of me and thank me when the time comes.
• Use a larger diaper size for the night. It would have saved us a lot of washing at the beginning.
• Baby nails literally grow back 10 seconds after you cut them.
• If you are breastfeeding, it can't hurt to put small towels around the house. You will then understand why. Hello milk stains!
• You don't save on a baby carrier any more than you save on a running shoe.
• You're just tired. In many cases, that's the answer to all the physical anxieties, arguments with your partner, and feelings of being overwhelmed.
• It's getting easier and more beautiful! It's really like that!

Becoming a mother has changed me dramatically, for the better in many ways. The past 12 weeks have brought with them some very painful times and also many painfully beautiful times. Before our little one, it was somehow not quite clear what life with a baby would be like. And since she's been here, it's as if she's always been a part of us.

PS: at this point I would also like to give special thanks to the dictation function on my cell phone, my carrier and my ironing board aka standing desk, without which this article would never have been finished.

Photo credits: Jasmin Spanitz