My Child, the Therapist

We've all been there. Monday, early evening, it's raining. The week has started more complicated than expected, there's a traffic jam on the way home and we're already looking forward to what seems to be the only bright spot in this tragic comedy: a quiet evening in our cozy home. When we enter the apartment, however, we find traces of dirt that lead all the way to the couch, which is already crying out for us. My dear husband forgot his cell phone on the charger and had to go and get it at the last minute. There was no time to take off his muddy Timberlands. That was the icing on the cake. Explosion. A cozy evening for two turns into a fundamental discussion and Monday is now completely ruined. I think we've all found ourselves in a similar scene before.

For about 5 months now, we've hardly had anything like that at all. Not because we're playing the divine family or one of us has moved out, but because there are now three of us.
With the birth of our daughter, many things became relative and there are several reasons for this.

A baby brings you into the “here and now” better than any meditation

Firstly, you have to say that there is simply no time for such things! Sometimes I actually ask myself what I actually did with my time when I was childless. I am now convinced that some of the moaning is probably unconsciously caused by boredom or unfounded dissatisfaction. The former is erased with the birth of a baby. Apart from the daily challenges of keeping a small human being alive AND happy, a baby brings back an often lost appreciation of the little things. It brings you back to the 'here and now' better than any meditation. Suddenly every tree that moves in the wind and every ray of sunshine that makes shadows dance on the walls is magical and exciting - and that is contagious! Time then stands still for a short while and nothing is more important than the moment. I am incredibly grateful to you, little mouse bear, for this little piece of regained childhood that I am allowed to live again here!
In my opinion, unfounded dissatisfaction also has its origins in not being aware and not feeling. When my thoughts are everywhere but in the present, I find it difficult to give names to my needs and feelings and to pursue them accordingly.

From button-pressing to one's own beliefs

Another reason, I'll say it like it is: a baby like that really pushes your buttons! It holds up a mirror to you very bluntly, which has an incredible learning effect. I would say that I am a very reflective person and know myself and my peculiarities very well. I find it all the more exciting to observe how I feel and what patterns I react with when my little daughter tests my nerves. Knowing that a baby never annoys or hurts on purpose naturally helps with this 'self-reflection exercise', to look with the heart instead of reacting with impulse. So when the little mouse pushes my buttons, I try to pause for a moment and listen. Not just to her thoughts, but also to my own.
It's really exciting to see what convictions, beliefs and unfulfilled needs come to the fore! Does my child really need to sleep NOW or sleep through the night or do I feel the pressure from countless relatives and friends who ask me every time whether she's 'sleeping well'? What are my priorities at this moment and where do they come from? Maybe I can reorient myself here, let go of old beliefs or 'clean up my own mess'. Because to be honest, I'm not really the kind of person who likes to take a power nap in the afternoon.

Back to the Green shortly before the 3rd Lockdown

And while we're on the subject of prioritization, I'd like to point out what a refreshing clarity and decision-making ability defined values ​​bring with them. To put it less cryptically: we've moved - back to the countryside!

Martin and I are both people who like to spend our free time actively, preferably doing sports and relaxing in nature. Life in the city (Vienna) has suited our previous stage of life perfectly and clearly has professional and private advantages that we somehow didn't want to give up quite yet. However, we both grew up on the outskirts of Vienna-Lower Austria and enjoyed a childhood between vineyards and duck ponds and want the same for our children! The countless daily walks with our little fresh air mouse made our desire for nature on our doorstep so great that we actively started looking for a home close to nature. So, I can hardly believe it myself, we moved two days before Christmas, just before the next Covid lockdown - in a single weekend!

These two days were, frankly, incredibly exhausting, but with determination as motivation and our family and friends, it was doable.
There is now a small Christmas tree among the chaos and boxes, which, together with the crackling of the stove, makes our new home cozy. We are already incredibly happy to have taken this big step and enjoy the fresh air outside on every walk. Our little one loves the forest and giggles excitedly at the trees and the surroundings - a true child of nature!

As you can see, having clear values ​​and priorities not only increases motivation, but also efficiency. Well, time is also a factor that you can hardly waste with a baby. Nobody showers faster than a mother at home alone with a baby! To be honest, there are of course moments when I wish I had a day just for myself. To do everything that I don't currently have time for. Unimportant things like painting my nails with vegan organic varnish, pampering my hair with conditioner or doing yoga for as long as I want and without a babbling little one underneath me. Reading a book or just doing nothing.

When I type these lines, it does sound very tempting indeed. With one eye and one ear on my baby, who is happily playing next to me with her wooden teething ring in one hand and her toes in the other, I am simultaneously aware of how incredibly rich my life is in love and adventure and how much I accomplish every day. I think it's time to pause and be aware of this. I want you to pat yourself on the back at this point and be aware of how much you achieve as a parent and how great your job is!

2020, You were so good to me

The year 2020 will undoubtedly go down in history. Not only because we are all living in an unprecedented state of emergency and are making the best of it. But because life has given us a daughter. A little being who brings back consciousness and magic in the midst of all the chaos and uncertainty. Makes us softer with ourselves and our fellow human beings. Who smiles at me in the morning after a long night and sweetens the sometimes stressful everyday life with spit bubbles. Who fills my heart and teaches me understanding.

I hope that you can be that person for yourself. That you let your 'inner child' out more often and that you are not always so strict with yourself and others.
I hope that we all enter the new year with a positive outlook and curiosity, and that when in doubt, we forget about time and pause. Nature is a perfect place to practice.

With this in mind, I wish you peaceful days and a good start into the new year 2021!
We'll read from each other in January.