How to not only survive motherhood but also enjoy it

You know that I always speak honestly and freely from my heart. Because of your numerous feedback on my articles and the exchanges, I think we are like friends. Pen pals. At the very least, I want to be a friend to you. To be precise, to you, dear mom. (Of course, this also applies to dear fathers, but I am a mother and can only report from my point of view.)

For this reason, I can honestly say what everyone knows, but only a few people talk about. And even fewer people talk about it publicly. Namely, that life as a mom can be DAMN HARD.
I LOVE being a mother. To be honest, I feel more at peace than ever before. I think you can relate to that on some level. And even if you don't, my following tips can definitely help you not only survive motherhood, but enjoy it too!

I have learned a lot in the many wonderful, mixed and bitterly difficult moments of the last 8 months of being a young mother. I have gained certain insights that ultimately make my everyday life a lot easier and give me more breathing room in stressful situations.
Maybe you'll recognize me in one or two points. Here are my 10 tips for (surviving) being a mom.

1. Take it as it comes – goodbye to the need to control

Because let's be honest, there's nothing else you can do anyway! In a world where almost everything is controllable, predictable and plannable, we are often overwhelmed or even confronted with fear when it comes to letting go of control. Children bring us a little closer to nature by showing us (even during pregnancy and birth) that life is colorful and spontaneous. If you manage to get involved in this, you will feel much lighter!

2. One foot in front of the other

If you feel overwhelmed and can't see the forest for the trees - STOP. Focus on the basics and put one foot in front of the other. Classical psychology also advises breaking the big picture down into small, manageable steps. Don't think about what you have to achieve by the end of the day, what appointments you still have or need to make, and what else is coming up. Concentrating on small, everyday steps like showering, getting dressed, eating, etc. helps to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed and the fear that comes with it and to create clarity. After getting up comes brushing your teeth. After brushing your teeth comes getting dressed, etc.

3. Contact with other adults is essential

I love how my daughter and I understand each other without words. We are so connected. I notice that she understands what I say and smiles back or mimes her need. But sometimes, when I only hear toothless laughter or babbling in response for a whole day, I long for a real conversation. A feeling of loneliness and constant self-talk sets in. I notice how much easier the days are when we have visitors or when I get the chance to talk on a walk together. I think contact with other adults is ESSENTIAL to clear your head and enrich your spirit.

4. Take time for yourself

Yes, I know, it is quite a challenge, both organizationally and mentally!
I have to admit, I think my child finds separation easier than I do! Haha. Yes, exactly, that's the kind of mom I am. It works a little better each time, not just to allow myself 'me-time', but to really enjoy it! As a mother, you have to learn to switch off your mind. But just like with everything else, constant practice helps here too. Treat yourself!

5. Do your thing

Your child, your rules. That means YOUR child, of course. But apart from your partner, you don't have to agree with anyone how you should raise your child, or even justify it. That doesn't mean that you can't talk to each other and have to roll your eyes at every well-meaning piece of advice. Nevertheless, I would like to encourage you to trust yourself and not let yourself be unsettled. You do you. You can do it.

6. Be open to change

Don't be afraid to change direction if you notice that the path is not the right one. And do this as often as you want. As a mother, you are 'enriched' with so many strategies and ideologies - let's politely call it that - that you often feel overwhelmed and unsure. You often have to try things out many times to find the right path for you. Don't even try to pigeonhole yourself, but be brave and keep reorienting yourself and redefining yourself! And have fun doing it.

7. Get help

I write this point mostly for myself. It took me around SEVEN months to feel comfortable not only accepting help, but actively asking for it! The 'strong woman syndrome' that I wrote about in one of my first articles was not that easy to shake off! If you take ONE thing away from this article, let it be this. I know that in times like these it is even harder to keep your doors open. But as we all know, it takes a whole village to raise a child. In today's small families, it is often enough if a grandmother, sister-in-law or friend helps out. Apart from the fact that a little relief makes a big difference, it brings valuable social contacts and aspects that your baby will benefit from!

8. Let five be even sometimes

I don't know if it's because I'm a Virgo or just a habit, but I LOVE order. When the room has a neat atmosphere, it makes it easier for my mind to be organized and relaxed.
Well, from now on the motto applies: only a genius can master chaos! Haha. No, but let's be honest, if you learn to let chaos be chaos and leave the dishes in the sink, you'll live a more relaxed life. Even though we usually manage to keep things in order thanks to our minimalist lifestyle, I've learned that it's OK if we leave the house and the portion of rice is still stuck to the high chair. So what.

9. Let go of your perfectionism

I would argue that most of us have a little bit of a perfectionist somewhere inside us. If you manage to not be so hard on yourself, then you won't be quite so critical of others either, which is incredibly helpful when implementing points 7 and 8!
Here too, the rule is: practice, practice, practice!

10. Be aware of transience – love the moment!

Probably the most important point of all: LOVE THE MOMENT.
The baby years are only a VERY SHORT time in your life. In the blink of an eye, they've suddenly moved out and you won't remember half of the hurdles from the early days. The first three years of your child's life are of vital importance. I hope that you spend them with joy and mindfulness and, above all, that you can laugh a lot (at yourself).

I find it really exciting to observe myself in this ever-growing process of motherhood and I think it's great to be able to share my journey with you. I've already learned so much. I'm excited to see what conclusions I can draw when I look back on my first year with my baby!

With this in mind, I wish you a wonderful time getting to know each other. Both with your baby and with your new self.

Your Jasmin